Monday, October 22, 2007

Save the Date

Party time, people.

Extraction surgery: April 24th, 2008. A year to the day.

Apparently only one night in the hospital. Although I am semi-skeptical, since last time I was told 2-3 days, and was there for 5. Details, details.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Better Days

I told Gym Teacher that I had stopped using the cane. It felt like telling my mom I wasn't a virgin anymore. However unlike my mom in that moment, Gym Teacher pumped her fist in the air several times. And I thought I was going to get in trouble. She said sometimes people find it's too much and they go back to using it.

There have definitely been days when I felt like I needed to pick up the cane again, days when I'm strolling around the park with my friend and her new baby and I'm the one that needs to stop and rest every 10 minutes. Then there are the other days, when nothing hurts, walking's a breeze, one leg doesn't feel shorter and weaker than the other. In other words, not that different from my pre-surgery, what-will-today-bring life. I'm hoping the better days will begin to dramatically outnumber the crap days. Mostly, I'm trying not to get depressed about having to go through this whole thing again in April when the hardware is removed. I try to console myself with the truth that it will be much less of a production, both because I've done it once already, and because it's literally less of a production to take it out than to put it in (4 weeks on crutches/50% weight bearing, as opposed to 6 weeks/no weight bearing).

People say, "You're so strong/ You're so disciplined/ You're so motivated, you'll do fine" when I start talking about the second surgery. But there's really nothing uplifting to say about it. The best response came from my friend who looked at me silently for a few seconds, and then started laughing really, really hard. As a fellow inhabitant of a body that's breaking down far too young, she gets it. I don't mean to sound ungrateful for all the concern and support that I'm getting - quite the opposite, I'm sure I wouldn't have made it this far without all of you, and please don't go anywhere. It's just nice to have someone to revel with in the delightful ass-kicking we're both receiving.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

How Soon They Forget

I hope you're not feeling rejected, Gentle Reader, simply because I haven't posted in over 2 weeks. (ahem)

After trying to figure out if I was remembering to remember the cane or forgetting to forget it, I finally said screw it and stopped using it completely 3 days ago. And honestly, I don't even think about it. Hip is a little stiff when I first get up in the morning or when I've been sitting for a while, but after a step or two everything starts moving as it should. I was feeling that using the cane was preventing me from using my leg enough to finally get that last 7% strength and mobility that I needed and that if I just stopped relying on it, the hip would have to man up. And man up it has.

[For legal reasons I must state here that I am not a doctor and as such cannot condone or prescribe my cane choice to any other post-operative recuperee.]

[Actually that's not true there's no legal anything I can write whatever I want. But everyone's responsible for themselves here.]

So even though it gets tired occasionally, overall I feel good about my choice. I realized I was waiting for my physical therapist to tell me when I could stop using it, as if she's the boss of me or something. Although she kind of is the boss of me... and if I'm totally honest, when I go in next, I'll probably take the cane because I don't want her to be mad... I'm going to have to work with her again after the next surgery so no reason to piss her off yet... she might make me do jumping jacks again.