Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Not Fair

I don't know about the rest of you, but sometimes this shit really kicks my ass.

Was practicing at home today, came into downward facing dog, took a deep breath and suddenly found myself on my hands and knees crying. Yoga hasn't made me cry in a long time, and in a way I'm grateful that it still holds the power to tap into something deeper than words. Yoga doesn't let me fake anything.

I had to write the sentence 'my surgery is next week' to someone today and it totally took me by surprise. Not fair, not fair, not fair!

Nope, not fair at all. But if I can let go right into that not-fairness, just settle into the sweet spot, cry when I need to and let it quiet me down, the not fair can be ok.

1 comment:

JC said...

Used to hate to run. Then I learned to love it. First time I completed a mile, I thought I would die. Later I learned to jog slow and could make 3 miles. A year later I found myself amongst a terrific group of friends- to run, laugh and grow together. Soon we would do the 10K around our favorite park every Sunday- no sweat.

Doubt you will learn to love surgery. But you have learned so much- about your body, your spirit, and life in general. And so many friends on this journey with you. This upcoming experience will likely be much different than your first- you are not the same person.

One thing for sure- it will be hard, but you will be okay. You really will.