Thursday, March 27, 2008
3 Weeks
It's a strange thing, knowing when you're going under the knife. Like knowing when you're going to be in a car accident. I get to wind down all the things that need winding down - students, classes, responsibilities. But it carries a strange air of ending, and at the same time within that ending the potential of all beginnings. It felt like this last time, like the life of the person before has to come to a close to allow for this new person to emerge. How much of me do I carry through each time? Maybe it seems melodramatic, but I think for anyone who's had something like this there is a deep shift. You're flung face first against the bottom of yourself, the limits of your personality. What are you going to do? I guess you can have this whole experience in a way that's shut off from your soul, and if that's the experience that you're having, more power to you. But I am deeply humbled by the fact that having had one surgery, I have a second in 3 weeks, and it's entirely possible that I may have more in my future. I am humbled by and grateful for this little body that's just doing its best to hold itself together as I fling more challenges at it (and of course, I'm not satisfied with just a body that can walk and talk - oh no - I have to be able to get my foot behind my head and balance on my hands). I am humbled by the fact that I get to have all these experiences at a relatively tender age - questions of breaking down that most don't have to deal with until later in life. I am deeply grateful for every time someone asks me how I'm feeling and really listens to the answer, even when it's not the answer they or I would like, and doesn't change the subject or try to look on the bright side. Let's all sit with this for a while, that there is no perfect solution, that we're all just working to get as good as we can, and let that be ok. I'm not trying to be depressing or morose, and I hope that comes through here. I'm trying to express what it feels like to me to allow exactly where I am to be ok, not to fight or cry about it, and to get quiet enough that it can teach me what it's supposed to be teaching me.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
AIDS Trundle
Once again, ladies and gents, I'll be crutching around the block twice (it's a lot, believe me! Imagine walking on your hands...) as my post-surgery AIDS Walk to support Ubuntu Education Fund on May 18th. I did it last year, and needed pea pod shoulder pads and a big nap afterwards. Am expecting same experience this year.
Why, you ask?
For kids like this:
And because Ubuntu is building a massive new center the likes of which have never before existed in the townships of Port Elizabeth, which will provide life-changing services, programs and support for the thousands of children and adults that Ubuntu helps every year.
I've seen them at work. It's real.
CLICK HERE to sponsor me! Even a little bit!
Why, you ask?
For kids like this:
And because Ubuntu is building a massive new center the likes of which have never before existed in the townships of Port Elizabeth, which will provide life-changing services, programs and support for the thousands of children and adults that Ubuntu helps every year.
I've seen them at work. It's real.
CLICK HERE to sponsor me! Even a little bit!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Swim
Anyone reading this with hip issues, I can say only one thing.
Get thee to a poolery.
I went swimming yesterday and it was fantastic. I can't wait to go back. I had a whole plan that I would swim for half an hour straight which after a few laps changed to 15 minutes, which became 12 when a really good swimmer guy got in my lane and started lapping me, but regardless, it was great. A little steam room afterwards and a happy hip. Of course, until walking outside was required again, but still. An issue-free hour. Investigated different styles and found breaststroke was best for working the whole range of motion. Can't recommend it enough, if you have a pool to go to.
Get thee to a poolery.
I went swimming yesterday and it was fantastic. I can't wait to go back. I had a whole plan that I would swim for half an hour straight which after a few laps changed to 15 minutes, which became 12 when a really good swimmer guy got in my lane and started lapping me, but regardless, it was great. A little steam room afterwards and a happy hip. Of course, until walking outside was required again, but still. An issue-free hour. Investigated different styles and found breaststroke was best for working the whole range of motion. Can't recommend it enough, if you have a pool to go to.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Young Lady
So here's what Dr. Buly said:
[Actually I need to back up, because I got young lady'd this morning in his waiting room and it's been such a long time since that happened that it struck me as kind of funny, although the young lady'er certainly wasn't having a good time - there were 3 of us waiting to see Dr. Buly and this one woman kept asking his assistant all these questions about where was he? (In a meeting) and what time was her appointment? (10.30) and how many people were ahead of her? (5) and where were they? In an attempt to help out with the last question I piped up, "I'm one of them" (I was at 9.45). "I wasn't talking to you, young lady!" she retorted. I hid behind my X-rays and looked at my femur, which has actually healed pretty nicely - it's all fuzzy where it's supposed to be fuzzy and reconnecting to itself. Young Lady.]
Anyway, got in to see the Dr. He's still shockingly bald. It always surprises me for some reason. He seems far too young to be SO bald.
ANYWAY, here's what he said:
The pain could in part be related to the plate (especially the pain that's along the outside of my leg, where the plate is) and most people experience relief when it's taken out. At the same time, although the coverage of the femur is now much better, the hip socket itself is still shallow, so he didn't rule out the possibility that I might need a PAO. I told him I just wanted to do the hardware removal and see how that goes, because frankly, I'm in no rush for this to become an annual springtime event (hey - it's April - how about some hip surgery!). He said that he can also look around in the hip joint when he's removing the hardware and see if there's a labral tear that's adding to the pain.
As for the surgery, it's only 45 minutes long, and will probably be in the afternoon, so I'll spend one night in the hospital and go home the next day. The holes are filled in with spackle (he called it something else but I like the idea of spackle for your bones) and he said that the 4 weeks on crutches with weight bearing is really more of a theoretical precaution than anything else (ie the likelihood of actually cracking the bone is low). The really good news is that during that time I can do non weight bearing exercise like swimming, walking in water and even the stationary bike. (and you can bet I'll be rolling around on my yoga mat too.) So the muscle atrophy which was so much a part of recovery last time won't be as bad by a long shot.
As for blood thinners, horrible greenless diet, early morning needles etc, the pre-op internist that I see the week before surgery will determine if that's necessary again. I vote no, but I don't think my vote counts for much.
Laura H, he says hi. Also I forgot to ask about keeping the hardware but I totally am. You know you'll see some pictures!
[Actually I need to back up, because I got young lady'd this morning in his waiting room and it's been such a long time since that happened that it struck me as kind of funny, although the young lady'er certainly wasn't having a good time - there were 3 of us waiting to see Dr. Buly and this one woman kept asking his assistant all these questions about where was he? (In a meeting) and what time was her appointment? (10.30) and how many people were ahead of her? (5) and where were they? In an attempt to help out with the last question I piped up, "I'm one of them" (I was at 9.45). "I wasn't talking to you, young lady!" she retorted. I hid behind my X-rays and looked at my femur, which has actually healed pretty nicely - it's all fuzzy where it's supposed to be fuzzy and reconnecting to itself. Young Lady.]
Anyway, got in to see the Dr. He's still shockingly bald. It always surprises me for some reason. He seems far too young to be SO bald.
ANYWAY, here's what he said:
The pain could in part be related to the plate (especially the pain that's along the outside of my leg, where the plate is) and most people experience relief when it's taken out. At the same time, although the coverage of the femur is now much better, the hip socket itself is still shallow, so he didn't rule out the possibility that I might need a PAO. I told him I just wanted to do the hardware removal and see how that goes, because frankly, I'm in no rush for this to become an annual springtime event (hey - it's April - how about some hip surgery!). He said that he can also look around in the hip joint when he's removing the hardware and see if there's a labral tear that's adding to the pain.
As for the surgery, it's only 45 minutes long, and will probably be in the afternoon, so I'll spend one night in the hospital and go home the next day. The holes are filled in with spackle (he called it something else but I like the idea of spackle for your bones) and he said that the 4 weeks on crutches with weight bearing is really more of a theoretical precaution than anything else (ie the likelihood of actually cracking the bone is low). The really good news is that during that time I can do non weight bearing exercise like swimming, walking in water and even the stationary bike. (and you can bet I'll be rolling around on my yoga mat too.) So the muscle atrophy which was so much a part of recovery last time won't be as bad by a long shot.
As for blood thinners, horrible greenless diet, early morning needles etc, the pre-op internist that I see the week before surgery will determine if that's necessary again. I vote no, but I don't think my vote counts for much.
Laura H, he says hi. Also I forgot to ask about keeping the hardware but I totally am. You know you'll see some pictures!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Road Runner
Wednesday night it was bitterly cold here again, and as I was leaving the plush enclave of my private student's 5th Avenue apartment I saw my bus pulling up at the end of the block. Thinking only of how cold I would be standing waiting for the next one, I started to run - and only after several steps, like the Road Runner in the cartoon (or any number of times a cartoon character has run off a cliff) did I realize what I was doing. I was actually running pretty well until I caught myself and then the limp came back. Which begs the question, do I limp when I run because of a pre-determined idea in my head that I'm supposed to run that way? If I visualized myself running perfectly, would I be able to do it?
On a separate note, I have a new weird twinge in my outer hip, predominantly when I step up climbing stairs, but sometimes, for the hell of it, just walking along. It's a totally new, odd feeling - almost like something is catching. In my mind, it's a tendon rubbing over the metal. I have no medical proof for this. We'll see what Dr. Buly says on Monday. Full update as well on the whole thing. One cool thing I was thinking about today is that if I get to keep the plate after it's out, I can post a picture of it! (Yeah... ok. Cool only to me, then. And perhaps anyone else who is having/has had an FO).
On a separate note, I have a new weird twinge in my outer hip, predominantly when I step up climbing stairs, but sometimes, for the hell of it, just walking along. It's a totally new, odd feeling - almost like something is catching. In my mind, it's a tendon rubbing over the metal. I have no medical proof for this. We'll see what Dr. Buly says on Monday. Full update as well on the whole thing. One cool thing I was thinking about today is that if I get to keep the plate after it's out, I can post a picture of it! (Yeah... ok. Cool only to me, then. And perhaps anyone else who is having/has had an FO).
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Fate
A student sent me this article yesterday and it made me feel better. I'm sharing it because even though it's not about hip dysplasia, she's dealing with the same head space. Hopefully you'll get something out of it too.
It's slightly less cold here now so hip's not hurting as much. It seems to flare up below 30 degrees. Good thing spring's coming.
It's slightly less cold here now so hip's not hurting as much. It seems to flare up below 30 degrees. Good thing spring's coming.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Full Disclosure
I didn't want to write this.
I've received tons of emails and messages from fellow hip women that all say how much they love the positivity and humor in my blog and how much it's helped them get ready for their own surgeries. I felt like admitting anything less than total success would be to let you all down in some way. But then I remembered the very first entry that I wrote, sometime around this time last year, and how I promised that I would tell all, good, bad and ugly.
So what I haven't been saying, what I've been trying to protect you from, is this:
I'm in pain. My hip hurts. Not just the ass spasms, but in the front, along the crease, the way it used to pre-surgery.
It's not constant, and I think it's related to the recent cold weather and having to pound along on the concrete streets of NYC, but it's really depressing me. I can't help but feel like all this was for nothing.
I know that there was always a possibility that this surgery wouldn't be enough. On the other hand, maybe it has been enough, maybe I don't need anything else except to move to a warmer climate (Matt and Marla you may get your LA wish after all). Or maybe I need a PAO as well. I don't know. Maybe the reality is, once dysplasia starts to show up, the available options are just stop-gaps along the road.
I don't like feeling that I don't have an answer. But I have to be honest, and sit here, and tell you that I don't. Maybe you have the answer for me.
I've received tons of emails and messages from fellow hip women that all say how much they love the positivity and humor in my blog and how much it's helped them get ready for their own surgeries. I felt like admitting anything less than total success would be to let you all down in some way. But then I remembered the very first entry that I wrote, sometime around this time last year, and how I promised that I would tell all, good, bad and ugly.
So what I haven't been saying, what I've been trying to protect you from, is this:
I'm in pain. My hip hurts. Not just the ass spasms, but in the front, along the crease, the way it used to pre-surgery.
It's not constant, and I think it's related to the recent cold weather and having to pound along on the concrete streets of NYC, but it's really depressing me. I can't help but feel like all this was for nothing.
I know that there was always a possibility that this surgery wouldn't be enough. On the other hand, maybe it has been enough, maybe I don't need anything else except to move to a warmer climate (Matt and Marla you may get your LA wish after all). Or maybe I need a PAO as well. I don't know. Maybe the reality is, once dysplasia starts to show up, the available options are just stop-gaps along the road.
I don't like feeling that I don't have an answer. But I have to be honest, and sit here, and tell you that I don't. Maybe you have the answer for me.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Watch This Space
Nothing happening* right now, Gentle Reader, but lo! On the horizon I espy a bald hip doctor advancing on horseback, X-rays in hand, ready to reach into my leg and pull out the alien invader that threatens world domination!!
March 3rd 8am X-rays 9am Dr. Buly. Pre- pre-op meeting. Site of questions such as:
Really, crutches again?
Am I going to be off vegetables again due to my super-human clotting capabilities?
Will people be arriving at 5.30am again to take blood out of my arm? Couldn't they come at a more civilized hour?
Will I decide again that a brownie a day is an appropriate dietary choice for a mostly sedentary being?
Will my mom make toast and tea and bring it to me in bed, again? (He may not have the answer for this one)
All semi-joking aside, I remember experiencing more than one strong urge to rip into my leg and pull out the metal last summer. This urge required a serious talk with myself about the foreign body that was there to help, and how I needed to let it be. I'm still aware of its presence, especially when I lie on that side, but now I'm feeling an odd nostalgic longing that starts in the middle of my chest when I think about having it removed. It's kept me upright for a year now. Can I do it on my own? What happens when the training wheels come off?
*and by nothing happening of course I mean I still get ass spams and run pretty gimpily.
March 3rd 8am X-rays 9am Dr. Buly. Pre- pre-op meeting. Site of questions such as:
Really, crutches again?
Am I going to be off vegetables again due to my super-human clotting capabilities?
Will people be arriving at 5.30am again to take blood out of my arm? Couldn't they come at a more civilized hour?
Will I decide again that a brownie a day is an appropriate dietary choice for a mostly sedentary being?
Will my mom make toast and tea and bring it to me in bed, again? (He may not have the answer for this one)
All semi-joking aside, I remember experiencing more than one strong urge to rip into my leg and pull out the metal last summer. This urge required a serious talk with myself about the foreign body that was there to help, and how I needed to let it be. I'm still aware of its presence, especially when I lie on that side, but now I'm feeling an odd nostalgic longing that starts in the middle of my chest when I think about having it removed. It's kept me upright for a year now. Can I do it on my own? What happens when the training wheels come off?
*and by nothing happening of course I mean I still get ass spams and run pretty gimpily.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
End of an Era
Been meaning to write that Gym Class ended. Not because Gym Teacher wanted to or thought I was ready - I think in her perfect world I would go to PT for the rest of my life - but because Insurance was ready to stop paying for it when 2007 became 2008. "PT feels so - I don't know - last year," yawned Insurance. "We're kinda over it. Aren't you?"
Kinda...? I feel really good, although I discovered that I still need to go to the gym and work the one-legged hamstring curl et al. Leg is unable to maintain a regular level of strength without it. It's a funny thing, because if I don't go, it kind of atrophies a little (maybe not visibly, but I can feel that it's weaker) and even just walking around I can feel the difference between them.
So I'll keep working the leg like a good little gym rat. If I get any parting words of advice from Gym Teacher that are particularly postworthy, you'll be the first to know.
Kinda...? I feel really good, although I discovered that I still need to go to the gym and work the one-legged hamstring curl et al. Leg is unable to maintain a regular level of strength without it. It's a funny thing, because if I don't go, it kind of atrophies a little (maybe not visibly, but I can feel that it's weaker) and even just walking around I can feel the difference between them.
So I'll keep working the leg like a good little gym rat. If I get any parting words of advice from Gym Teacher that are particularly postworthy, you'll be the first to know.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Upped and Outed
Just got a call from Elaine, the greatest physician's assistant on the planet, to let me know that my surgery is going to be moved up a week to April 17th, as Dr. Buly's out of town the following week.
No problem. And then:
"So I hear you've written a blog!"
SO BUSTED!!!
Actually I don't know why I feel like the kid with their hand in the candy jar. She was delighted that I was sharing my experiences, and said that it was so helpful for other patients, and even went so far as to say that she heard it was "very good"!
Well then. I thank you. I've been emailing with a pre-op patient of Dr. Buly's and I'm reminded of myself this time last year, when it seemed like every question I got answers to only led to five more. Preparing obsessively so that I didn't have to think about anything else, like what the hell was it going to be like afterwards? From the other side now, I feel great sympathy and compassion, and can say only this to everyone, regardless of surgery, pain, fear, confusion, insurance:
You are going to be fine, and after an unspecified period of time, your life will return better than before.
No problem. And then:
"So I hear you've written a blog!"
SO BUSTED!!!
Actually I don't know why I feel like the kid with their hand in the candy jar. She was delighted that I was sharing my experiences, and said that it was so helpful for other patients, and even went so far as to say that she heard it was "very good"!
Well then. I thank you. I've been emailing with a pre-op patient of Dr. Buly's and I'm reminded of myself this time last year, when it seemed like every question I got answers to only led to five more. Preparing obsessively so that I didn't have to think about anything else, like what the hell was it going to be like afterwards? From the other side now, I feel great sympathy and compassion, and can say only this to everyone, regardless of surgery, pain, fear, confusion, insurance:
You are going to be fine, and after an unspecified period of time, your life will return better than before.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
This Time Last Year
I was scrabbling around trying to find someone who knew what to do with me.
I could take about 25-50 steps, depending on the day, and then would be in pain any time I tried to walk after that.
I was sick of hearing the phrase 'pain management' from well-meaning nurses and doctors who were not themselves experiencing any pain (I don't want to MANAGE my pain, I want to be in a body that is not IN pain. Do you see the difference, smiley nurse lady?)
To my fellow hip women, wherever you may be on this mad journey: there is a light, I promise, and there are so many of us out there now to support you getting there. Kick-ass Lauren and I are almost done with our secret project that we hope will make things even better.
I could take about 25-50 steps, depending on the day, and then would be in pain any time I tried to walk after that.
I was sick of hearing the phrase 'pain management' from well-meaning nurses and doctors who were not themselves experiencing any pain (I don't want to MANAGE my pain, I want to be in a body that is not IN pain. Do you see the difference, smiley nurse lady?)
To my fellow hip women, wherever you may be on this mad journey: there is a light, I promise, and there are so many of us out there now to support you getting there. Kick-ass Lauren and I are almost done with our secret project that we hope will make things even better.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Growing Pains
Add ice skating to my list of recovered skills.
And - my leg is getting bigger! It's now only 1/2" smaller in diameter than my regular leg. (Which may have more to do with Christmas cookies than anything else, but still.) As much as my yogic perspective makes every step on the elliptical machine another notch of binding in the front of my hip that I'll have to undo later, every one-legged hamstring curl another millimeter of forward bending that I have to refind, it seems to be working. Although my butt still spasms on a daily basis. I have magnesium oil which I am supposed to rub on the area, which is supposed to take care of the situation. I have my doubts, as you can probably tell.
In any event, walking without joint pain and not having to plan my day based on how much I can handle before I have to throw in the towel and just go home is the best holiday gift I can imagine. The rest is small potatoes.
And - my leg is getting bigger! It's now only 1/2" smaller in diameter than my regular leg. (Which may have more to do with Christmas cookies than anything else, but still.) As much as my yogic perspective makes every step on the elliptical machine another notch of binding in the front of my hip that I'll have to undo later, every one-legged hamstring curl another millimeter of forward bending that I have to refind, it seems to be working. Although my butt still spasms on a daily basis. I have magnesium oil which I am supposed to rub on the area, which is supposed to take care of the situation. I have my doubts, as you can probably tell.
In any event, walking without joint pain and not having to plan my day based on how much I can handle before I have to throw in the towel and just go home is the best holiday gift I can imagine. The rest is small potatoes.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Secret Jog
Halfway through my jumping routine yesterday, Gym Teacher pulled me in close, lowered her chin, and glancing around furtively, whispered, "I want you to jog."
"You want me to WHAT?" I exclaimed, blowing her cover.
"Just, try. Slowly. Walk a few steps and then build it up."
Gentle Reader, it weren't pretty, and it weren't for more than 5 steps, but I jogged. When I tried it again later that evening, it was very gimpy. Baby steps, but I'm getting somewhere.
"You want me to WHAT?" I exclaimed, blowing her cover.
"Just, try. Slowly. Walk a few steps and then build it up."
Gentle Reader, it weren't pretty, and it weren't for more than 5 steps, but I jogged. When I tried it again later that evening, it was very gimpy. Baby steps, but I'm getting somewhere.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Fitter Happier
I'm getting really good at jumping. I can jump up and down, I can jump side to side. Jumping with one foot forward and one foot backward though has proved to be my greatest challenge (the aforementioned 'pony prance') and thus the one I have to work on the most. I also get to gallop, right foot forward, in whatever setting I deem fit. Galloping, for those that were not childhood practitioners, is the same action as skipping, except without alternating legs - you just go bonkers on the one side. It's pretty fun and yesterday when I had dragged myself, worn out from several days of city-wide mad dashing featuring multiple costume changes (yoga teacher! young mom for audition! yoga teacher again! hip urban woman for audition!) to gym class and explained to Gym Teacher that I was very tired, she would have no part of it and made me start the mad jumping routine. There's not much bouncing in adult life, and it's a shame, because I definitely felt better afterwards. Perhaps I shall begin to gallop down the street to get places.
I still run like a gimp though. Did a little dash through the turnstile to the waiting subway train this morning and could immediately sense that had I galloped, I may have retained a little more dignity.
I still run like a gimp though. Did a little dash through the turnstile to the waiting subway train this morning and could immediately sense that had I galloped, I may have retained a little more dignity.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Insurance Irony
I get my insurance by doing things like this:
http://www.chocolatecomestolife.com/productnews/
As it says at the end, life is full of chocolate surprises.
Since commercials generally like people to look the same on both sides, and also successfully walk into the room to audition unaided, I was on hiatus all summer post-surgery and only recently started auditioning again. Because of this, I have not earned enough money to remain in the top tier of insurance and have been unceremoniously dropped to the second tier. Grrr. I have another employer from whom I could receive insurance, but then I run the "pre-existing condition" risk.
Further investigation required to see what this will mean for next year's surgery. There is an option to pay more with my current insurer (of course) to remain in the top tier, but (of course) it's an enormous amount per month - over $800 more (of course). Essentially, just more pain in an area that's already in spasm half the time. Also, if I work enough between now and surgery, there's a chance I would return to my former heights of insured glory.
The more laissez-faire you can be going into an audition, the greater chance you have of booking the job. Usually people are driven to get all hyped up and over-perform due to an intense desire to succeed as an actor. I just want to get the metal out of my leg. Maybe I should bring in a "Will Work For Surgery" sign.
http://www.chocolatecomestolife.com/productnews/
As it says at the end, life is full of chocolate surprises.
Since commercials generally like people to look the same on both sides, and also successfully walk into the room to audition unaided, I was on hiatus all summer post-surgery and only recently started auditioning again. Because of this, I have not earned enough money to remain in the top tier of insurance and have been unceremoniously dropped to the second tier. Grrr. I have another employer from whom I could receive insurance, but then I run the "pre-existing condition" risk.
Further investigation required to see what this will mean for next year's surgery. There is an option to pay more with my current insurer (of course) to remain in the top tier, but (of course) it's an enormous amount per month - over $800 more (of course). Essentially, just more pain in an area that's already in spasm half the time. Also, if I work enough between now and surgery, there's a chance I would return to my former heights of insured glory.
The more laissez-faire you can be going into an audition, the greater chance you have of booking the job. Usually people are driven to get all hyped up and over-perform due to an intense desire to succeed as an actor. I just want to get the metal out of my leg. Maybe I should bring in a "Will Work For Surgery" sign.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Measurements
As a yoga teacher, one of my constant joys is watching students develop and grow - a triumphant first headstand, the click of comprehension about alignment, even the simple glow of contentment that regular yoga practice inevitably brings.
Measuring my own progress has also proved invaluable on days when I still feel gimpy, spasmy and the like. At gym class yesterday I was remembering how my wobbly initial attempt at transition from crutch to cane had to be postponed a month until I grew stronger. Now I stride through the door like someone who's there with a shoulder injury.
After several rounds of hopping and jumping (and discovering that I can now jump up and down on the spot, which hurt the first time I tried it a few weeks ago) I mentioned to Gym Teacher that my legs were, as far as I could tell, still different sizes. Out came the tape measure as she made little pen marks on my legs and wrote down circumferences. "Your right thigh is an inch smaller than your left," she confirmed, and discussion of various weight machines at the gym followed, which is a source of great pleasure to me, as I've really had it with the 5 lb ankle weights. And then of course, the inevitable:
"What if we measured your buttocks, from your coccyx to your greater trochanter, ha ha ha!" she laughed. "Ha ha ha," I agreed, which set her off even more. In the six months I have known this woman, I have never seen her let out more than a mild titter. The butt joke had her literally doubled over. I guess when it comes to anatomy humor, you take it where you can get it when it.
Measuring my own progress has also proved invaluable on days when I still feel gimpy, spasmy and the like. At gym class yesterday I was remembering how my wobbly initial attempt at transition from crutch to cane had to be postponed a month until I grew stronger. Now I stride through the door like someone who's there with a shoulder injury.
After several rounds of hopping and jumping (and discovering that I can now jump up and down on the spot, which hurt the first time I tried it a few weeks ago) I mentioned to Gym Teacher that my legs were, as far as I could tell, still different sizes. Out came the tape measure as she made little pen marks on my legs and wrote down circumferences. "Your right thigh is an inch smaller than your left," she confirmed, and discussion of various weight machines at the gym followed, which is a source of great pleasure to me, as I've really had it with the 5 lb ankle weights. And then of course, the inevitable:
"What if we measured your buttocks, from your coccyx to your greater trochanter, ha ha ha!" she laughed. "Ha ha ha," I agreed, which set her off even more. In the six months I have known this woman, I have never seen her let out more than a mild titter. The butt joke had her literally doubled over. I guess when it comes to anatomy humor, you take it where you can get it when it.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Giving Thanks
In honor of the season, I'm so grateful that I live in a world where I can access the kind of surgery that makes it possible for me to walk around Central Park all afternoon on Thanksgiving, taking pictures with friends, admiring the changing leaves and only spasming a little towards the end. (Couldn't resist. At least I didn't say the other part.) Thanksgiving last year, this would not have been possible.
And not that I'm complaining, just a situational update, that running is still not in the cards. I was crossing the street today a little after the light had changed and did that little hopalong pretend run where mostly you just move your arms but it sort of looks like you're putting some effort into moving faster, which made me wonder what would happen if I did break into a little jog, so I tried it, and then after a few steps realized that was a bad idea and quickly went back to just waving my arms. Takeoff is fine, but joint still doesn't like the impact of landing. That's ok. I'm fine with not running for now. Everything else is working pretty well, and that's enough.
And not that I'm complaining, just a situational update, that running is still not in the cards. I was crossing the street today a little after the light had changed and did that little hopalong pretend run where mostly you just move your arms but it sort of looks like you're putting some effort into moving faster, which made me wonder what would happen if I did break into a little jog, so I tried it, and then after a few steps realized that was a bad idea and quickly went back to just waving my arms. Takeoff is fine, but joint still doesn't like the impact of landing. That's ok. I'm fine with not running for now. Everything else is working pretty well, and that's enough.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Spasm
I toyed with the idea of keeping this next nugget to myself. "Self," I said, "There's no need to subject people to this. Haven't you made them read enough? Didn't you show them an awful lot of upper thigh in those scar pictures? And the special toilet? Come, now. Have a little compassion."
And yet I find myself compelled to tell you, Gentle Reader, that as of late, I have ass spasms.
Walk too much, leg gets tired, butt seizes up. If you see me around town stopping short, hands on hips, admiring the ground through clenched jaw, that's what's happening. Gym Teacher threw some Latin name at me and said it's called the pain in the ass muscle.
Her solution: my latest PT advancement, which is walking backwards on the treadmill. I even have a note from her stating that I have been trained to walk backwards on the treadmill and that it is an essential part of my physical therapy, in case someone at the gym gets shirty. Evidently gyms don't like it when you do stuff on their equipment that you're not supposed to. I've yet to unveil my trained backwards walking spasming ass at the gym, but if you're lucky, it will be a non-postworthy event and you'll never see the words ass and spasm together again.
And yet I find myself compelled to tell you, Gentle Reader, that as of late, I have ass spasms.
Walk too much, leg gets tired, butt seizes up. If you see me around town stopping short, hands on hips, admiring the ground through clenched jaw, that's what's happening. Gym Teacher threw some Latin name at me and said it's called the pain in the ass muscle.
Her solution: my latest PT advancement, which is walking backwards on the treadmill. I even have a note from her stating that I have been trained to walk backwards on the treadmill and that it is an essential part of my physical therapy, in case someone at the gym gets shirty. Evidently gyms don't like it when you do stuff on their equipment that you're not supposed to. I've yet to unveil my trained backwards walking spasming ass at the gym, but if you're lucky, it will be a non-postworthy event and you'll never see the words ass and spasm together again.
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