Today for the first time in 2 months I was in a yoga class. I'm taking the Anusara immersions and the first one started today. It was so incredible to be there I didn't even care that much that I wasn't able to get very far into most poses. My right leg is still very weak and couldn't handle going up into a high lunge (hands off the floor) for example. And Warrior 1 - well, not that fierce. But I was there, and it was fantastic.
I balked at the handstand. It was weird to stand and watch other people and I didn't like feeling like it was a fearful reaction. I know it was probably just sensible until my right leg is stronger and I have more control and won't land funny, but not trying at all was strange.
At the end of class after watching me grunt and groan my friend Eddie said to me, "you need a crutch to walk and you just did that class? You got a lot of guts, I'll tell you that much." I was all, yeah I kick ass!
I'm already so sore...
On the flip side of YOGA!! I realized that my plans for world domination through teaching yoga will have to wait a little longer. I was hoping to come back in July but I have no idea really when I won't need the crutch any more and frankly if I walked into a class and the teacher had a crutch, I would probably walk out pretty quickly.
So, patience. Being able to go to class makes it a whole lot easier. I felt so much gratitude to be there today. What a gift. And lying in savasana I felt high. The focus of the class was about opening to grace, and that whatever we bring, whatever condition we come in, it is enough. To come to a yoga class in my condition and to hear that I am enough was a huge gift of grace for me.